Ok, ok, I haven’t been here in a little while. God and I have been wrestling with some things and I didn’t quite know how to put it into words. Just a few weeks ago, I was in excruciating pain and feeling like there was no end in sight. I hadn’t been out of the house to do anything fun in a long time. I kept saying “no” to the invitations of friends and family. I was in a very, very low spot.
Then I got the chance to do something I’d never done before. Attend a White Tie Fundraising Gala for National Jewish Hospital. I’d passed on the first email sent by the administrator of my department at Children’s Hospital because I figured I’d never find a date or a dress – and figured there was a good chance I’d be hurting too much to go anyway. Then the second email came, saying that most of the seats were still available and at $500 a plate, the department REALLY didn’t want them to go unused. So I took a chance, im-ed my friend Kyle (who actually OWNS a tux), and accepted two of the seats.
My sweet friends, whom I’d been neglecting, offered me formal dresses and gowns they had in their closets, and I found a dress that I LOVED. Brilliant red, floor length and flowy. Just gorgeous. I found the perfect pair of shoes on sale and a matching bag at Ross for $5. The ball was amazing – so decadent – and I felt like a princess. Plus, I enjoyed the company of my date and the coworkers we shared the table with.
As I was driving home I had an epiphany. I can actually LIVE. I don’t have to focus on simply surviving – yeah some days suck – but there is so much out there to experience. And that I really am strong enough to do it. I realized that while God had been telling me to “wait” for a really long time, waiting didn’t need to be so lonely and miserable.
Following this epiphany God finally told me that some of my waiting is over. I have been approved to have an experimental treatment for my pain. It would have been prohibitively expensive without my insurance but they are going to cover it. I will go in on April 3rd for a one-week trial and if it is sucessful will have surgery a little later in the month to have the device permanently implanted. This has the potential to give me 100% pain relief. I’m not even sure what that would really be like anymore, but it sounds awfully good.
And on top of that fabulous news – I’m in the early stages of a new relationship with a really great guy. More on that another time.
God is SO good
Kyle and I at the Beaux Arts Ball
Thanks for sharing friend… completely understand that durng that time it was rough for you, as you try to figure out the pain and living day to day and just going to work and helping on Tuesday nights in the midst of it all. I had been and continue to pray for you during this time, but am happy that God anwsered the prayer I have been praying that he would help you to live in the midst of all the pain you have been feeling physical and enjoy life again with friends and family…
Secondly am glad to hear about the beinginngs of a new relationship, I will pray that everything works according to God’s will and purpose regarding that. Thanks again for sharing and I am happy for you (in the midst of my own darkeness) and May God continue to bless you life richly.
Sorry it has been so rough on you lately but very glad to hear from you. Sending many good wishes your way.
Meanwhile, you look fantastic in red!! Great dress
So glad to hear the update since it seems we only get to wave in passing.
And VERY glad to see a pic. You looked AMAZING!
I read somewhere recently that said Give God glory when you are in pain and when you are pain free. That did not make sense to me right away but when you think about it. If we never experienced pain then how can we emphasize when others are.
I hope the meds and surgery make you pain free soon and good luck with your potential.
God bless
You are so right. The lessons I’ve learned during this season of life will stay with me always. I’m just ready for the next season/lesson! ;o) Thanks for visiting and commenting.
You look absolutely radiant in that pic, Janna.
Thank you Dave. I felt like Cinderella all night!
I love this story, and I hope to be able to keep hearing about wonderful things happening to you. I realize that real life has the good and the bad, but it’s about damn time that some of the good started happening to you! Love and miss you tons.