Yesterday I read a book called “Chasing Fireflies” by Charles
Martin. It was wonderfully written, an engaging and exciting
story, and it broke my heart more than once. It also raised
some intriguing questions – one that I’d like to process here
– about parenting and fathers and faith.
I’m not going to tell you about the book other than to
explain that it is fiction – not some sort of religious
self-help manual. I think this is one book that is valuable
enough to encourage you to read and think on on your own. I
also think this question is one that has been asked by
millions of people over all the years of the world.
The author talks about how all boys are born with a hole in
their middle. A hole that needs to be filled by their fathers
and when it is not, is often filled with destructive things
like addictions. (I’m sure there is a similar corellation for
girls, but I happen to have a son so thats what I’m focusing
on). It’s not too far fetched… so my question is: When a
boy’s father is absent or inadequate, how can a mother fill
that hole? Especially when the boy doesn’t necessarily know
that his father is inadequate or even idolizes him to some
degree.
My current answer is – THE Father. Therin lies another big
question for me. I didn’t come to a relationship with Christ
until I was an adult and when I found Him (or rather, He
found me) it all just kinda clicked into place. At this
moment, my son is not terribly interested in learning about
God or attending church with me. There is no part of me that
wants to force him in any way and that leaves me in a
quandry. How do I show my son how much he is loved by his
Heavenly Father if he has no interest in knowing Him? And if
the hole inside of him doesn’t get filled with that love and
doesn’t get filled by his dad, what can I do? Is a mother’s
love sufficient?
Another thing – I do not want to raise a child with an
unhealthy dependence on me. I don’t want to be Marie to my
Raymond… if you know what I mean. It feels like such a fine
line to walk – which I guess is parenting in general
sometimes.
Thoughts?
Wrestling Faith 